Adjusting to Adolescence: How Lower Secondary Parents Can Support Their Children

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The transition from Primary to Secondary school isn’t merely an academic one. The sudden increase in responsibility coincides with perhaps the most challenging emotional and social changes that children face in their lifetimes: puberty and adolescence. It’s important therefore that parents provide the proper support for their children so that they don’t feel overwhelmed.

Thankfully, the Yew Chung International School of Beijing provides support for both parents and students, providing a warm and welcoming community environment, regular Active Parenting, and open doors for both parents and students to speak with experienced school counselors.

Ron Drisner, longtime School Counselor at YCIS Beijing, offers five tips to help parents of young adults support their children during their transition in their lives.

Invest in the Relationship

The most important part of parenting a teen is to have a genuine relationship. This demands spending quality time together – not just doing tasks, but in having fun. Doing this regularly shows them their value and allows them to get to know you.

Adolescence is developmentally, socially, mentally, and emotionally, perhaps the biggest change that your kids will experience in their lives – with rapid change happening in a very short time. Spending time with your children provides a stabilizing influence; even though their other relationships may change, they know that home is a safe space where they can always return.

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Maintain Open Communication

Make sure your child feels that they can talk with you about anything.  And be available according to their schedule, not your own. Being constantly available is important, because young adults will talk only when they want to talk. 

And when they do talk, be ready to listen.  Make sure to put your phone down when your child wants to talk with you! When you communicate, make sure not to focus on what they’re doing wrong, but rather focus on what they’re doing right. Your children certainly are doing much more right than they are wrong!

Praise not only what your child has accomplished, but also praise who they are intrinsically as people, e.g. being a caring person, having a good work-ethic, and so on.

Expressing Love

It’s easy to show young children love with hugs and kisses, but often when children enter their teen years, parents many not express their love as frequently. It’s important to continue to express your love for through words and physical affection. Teenagers never stop needing this affirmation, no matter how much they pretend they don’t want it!

Have Clear and Reasonable Expectations

1Conflict often arises out of unclear or unreasonable expectations. Part of effective communication is expressing expectations and then encouraging your child’s feedback. To know what’s reasonable to children, parents must listen and give things a try, noting the positive or negative consequences depending on whether or not the child met the expectations set down.

Stay Consistent

Children, regardless of age, need routines. Maintaining all of these habits consistently creates a sense of stability and safety in a time in your child’s lives when there’s not a lot of it. It gives them a safe place that’s predictable to come back to and relax, not just physically in the home but also socially and emotionally.

To learn more about Student Support Services at YCIS Beijing, please visit their department page, or contact their admissions team today!

 

Article provided by YCIS, Brett Snipes, Senior Marketing Officer

 

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I am living in China since 2009 and in Beijing since 2011. I am sharing my experiences for other expatriates to make their stay in Beijing more enjoyable. As I am writing this blog for SCOUT Real Estate agency, I am also computing updates about the Real Estate market in Beijing, not only on residential properties, but as well on commercial locals and offices. Hope you enjoy your reading!